Saturday, January 8, 2011

New Years Excuses!

Happy New Year! 2011 and I’m still fat, broke, and tired. I haven’t gone anywhere near a scale lately but I’m pretty sure I’m fatter then ever.  I’m happy to report, though, that I must be less tired… or you wouldn’t be reading this. Fatigue is a sure way of stifling hobbies like writing for a blog that nobody reads. I think I’m about to make a break through, though. But be warned: I have a philosophical dilemma and, for some crazy reason, I ‘m compelled to sort through it here… even though I know I should probably keep it to myself. Perhaps it’s because I know I don’t have the answers to my problems and I’m reaching out for help. Feel free to comment.

I started out this journey with a commitment to becoming a healthy, physically fit, financially secure, vegan. In true slob fashion, over a year has gone by and I continue to eat meat (and a bunch of other crap I know is bad for me), drink coffee and booze, spend money without saving, watch a lot of TV and not exercise. The only thing I don’t do anymore is smoke… and the only reason I don’t do that is I never really smoked in the first place. I have dabbled here and there with some healthier habits but the bottom line is I haven’t changed my ways. Since I was a kid I’ve been a believer in the wisdom of the Jedi Master Yoda who said “there is no try. You either do or you don’t do.’ I haven’t done shit. But why? As much as I’d like to start this year off with renewed vigor and a fresh commitment to a better and happier me, I know I have to answer this question before I can move forward. Why haven’t I been motivated to change? Here are a few of my latest excuses:

#1- I’m perfectly happy with who I am, what I eat and 
      what I do.The only thing missing is admitting this to 

#2 – I don’t feel good (or happy) but I’m lazy and do what’s easy. As destructive as I know my lifestyle is, I haven’t had any consequences bad enough, yet, to force me to change. I haven’t hit “rock bottom.”

#3 – I‘m a mere product of my environment. I have the illusion of choice and control but the truth is... I’m exactly what my environment requires me to be. I’m a tiny cog in a vast, mindless, purposeless (but intricately interconnected) system. The reason I act like a fat, lazy, and bloated American is because that’s what I am. That’s what the majority of us are.

     #4 – Other reasons having to do with extra terrestrials, the ozone layer, alignment of the stars, the Mayan calendar, and a bunch of other stuff that I’m too embarrassed to admit in public… but still consider possible factors.

     #5 - Analysis leads to paralysis.

     #6 – Pride, ego, and vanity are a trap. On some level, I know that none of this really matters. Change is necessary and possible but I’m focusing on the wrong things. Perhaps it’s time for a new blog? “Staring Into The Void: A human consciousness being one with the Universe”? How does that sound?